Moscow’s Code: 10 Polite Mistakes That Mark You as a Foreigner

In Moscow, it’s not the accent or the map in their hands that gives a foreigner away. It’s the smile.

That standard-issue, “polite” smile, aimed at the cashier, a passerby, or a fellow passenger on the metro. As a professor and a long-time resident of this city, I constantly observe this silent scene: the foreigner “activates” their friendliness, and in response, they hit a wall of misunderstanding, and sometimes, even suspicion.

It’s not that Muscovites are angry. God forbid. It’s that Moscow etiquette isn’t about formality; it’s about honesty and context. What is considered common courtesy in London or Toronto can look like naivety, flirting, or even a provocation here.

Here are ten “polite” actions that foreigners are better off avoiding if they don’t want to be the subject of constant, baffled stares.

1. Smiling at Strangers (Especially on the Metro)

In Western countries, a smile is a “social screensaver,” a default sign of friendliness. In Moscow, a smile without a reason is a diagnosis. When I, out of old habit, smiled at a cashier in the supermarket, she stopped scanning my items and stared at me intently: “Is something wrong?”

Passersby will assume you are drunk, unhinged, or worse, trying to sell them something. Here, a smile isn’t a casual gesture; it’s a reward. It must be earned.

2. Saying “Thank You” for Every Little Thing

“Thank you” to the cashier, “thank you” to the bus ticket inspector… In Moscow, it sounds artificial. Here, gratitude isn’t a word; it’s a fact: you paid, you received a service, you’re square.

When I once told a barista, “Thank you so much, have a great day!” he just got flustered. The guy behind me in line nudged me, “Bro, are you trying to pick him up?” Your “thank you” will be understood, but you’ll be marked as “not local.”

3. Offering Your Hand (Especially to a Woman)

In the office? Yes, that’s business. At a party or when meeting on the street? Absolutely not. Physical contact with a stranger in Moscow is a high-risk zone. Especially a handshake with a woman.

It’s better to stick to a nod and a brief “Privet” (Hi). Otherwise, you risk looking like a door-to-door salesman from the 90s. A handshake is an act of trust, not a greeting.

4. Eating and Drinking on the Go (Especially on the Metro)

Although a coffee cup in hand has become the norm for the youth at Patriarch’s Ponds, in the rest of the city, it’s still gauche. Eating on the street is a sign that you don’t have the time (or money) for a proper cafe.

And on the metro or a bus? That’s a direct violation of the “Code of Silence.” Yes, it’s technically against the rules, but more importantly, you are invading everyone’s personal space with the smell of your food. Want to feel the full weight of collective judgment? Just unwrap a shawarma in the train car.

5. Giving Compliments to Strangers

“What a beautiful bag!”—in New York, that’s a small-talk starter. In Moscow, it’s either a come-on or the prelude to a scam.

This is especially true if the compliment is directed at a woman. It is immediately read as a signal. Russians prefer restraint; admiration is expressed with a glance, not words. If you want to understand how signals, flirting, and boundaries really work here, you’re better off reading my breakdown of The Moscow Dating Code. It’ll save you a lot of time.

6. Asking “How Are You?” (And Expecting an Answer)

In the West, “How are you?” is “Hello.” In Moscow, “How are you?” is a question. And if you ask it, be prepared to listen.

The expected answer is “Normalno” (Normal)—which can mean anything from “awful” to “excellent”—or “Same as usual.” If you start detailing your housing problems or depression, your companion will be bewildered. This isn’t coldness; it’s a boundary.

7. Giving Up Your Seat (Too Eagerly)

Yes, on the metro, it’s customary to give up your seat for the elderly and pregnant women. But there is a nuance.

If you leap to your feet at the sight of anyone over 50, you risk… insulting them. I once offered my seat to a woman who just glared at me and snapped, “I’m not an old hag, sit down.” Many Muscovites pride themselves on their endurance. Your “politeness” can sound like, “You look old and frail.”

8. Speaking Loudly in Public Transport

The Moscow metro is a temple of collective silence. Conversations are acceptable, but only in a quiet whisper. Loud laughter, arguments, or—God forbid—a phone call on speaker…

It’s not just annoying. It’s a violation of the main Moscow contract: “Do not disturb others in this anthill.” You will immediately receive that heavy, judgmental stare that makes you want to phase through the granite floor.

9. Giving an Even Number of Flowers

This is a classic, but foreigners still get trapped. Even numbers (2, 4, 6) are only for funerals.

Even two beautiful tulips can cause a mild panic in the recipient. This isn’t just a superstition; it’s a deeply ingrained cultural code, a language of respect. Always choose an odd number: 3, 5, 7.

10. Asking “Why Are You So Serious?”

Russians are not obligated to smile 24/7 to prove that they are “okay.” A serious face is the energy-saving mode, not a sign of depression.

The question “Why are you so sad?” or “Cheer up!” sounds like tactless pressure: “You are obligated to be happy for my comfort.” Want to show you care? It’s better to just be there, silently, without expectations.

These rules aren’t written down, but they work. You don’t break them; you feel them. Moscow isn’t hostile. It just values honesty over formality. It doesn’t waste energy on fake smiles.

Knowing these nuances won’t make you an “insider.” But it will help you avoid those awkward pauses and the internal question: “What did I do wrong?” And that is the first step to understanding the real Moscow code.